I don’t make new year’s resolutions. It smacks too much of setting yourself up to fail and feeding lame jokes. I really don’t want any part of the mass sales of low fat cheese or spandex and lycra.
On the other hand, a new year does make me pause and look at my life. In retrospect 2012 was a year of waiting. There were a lot of big plans that were going to kick into gear after a low key first year of marriage. We were going to move toward buying a house and having children, have people over for dinner more often and spend more time practicing for the rifle match. Instead, the biggest thing that happened all year is I got diagnosed with Lyme disease.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to have diagnosis and therefore a treatment plan and be moving toward functioning like a normal human being. But getting diagnosed with Lyme wasn’t exactly on my bucket list, you know?
God looked at all our big plans and said ‘not yet’. I’m used to that, but I’m still not good at figuring out what I’m supposed to be doing while I wait.
Since January first I’ve made several lists of things I want to get done this year, tried to narrow them down to a small focus that can actually be accomplished, and gotten distracted by how many cool ideas I’d like to follow up on. I’ve started reading books on productivity and gotten stumped on what my area of impact actually is.
And suddenly I decided I want to be a writer.
I’ve known this since I was twelve, but I’ve never really followed up on it. I had the lightbulb explosion many years ago of being told that I am already a writer, and I’ve written enough haiku to fill a small book (if I’d ever actually collected all the good ones and published it…) , but I’ve never stuck with one project for more than a few weeks.
I’m not entirely sure what this looks like now, or where exactly it falls on that priority list I’ve constructed, but I know it’s gotten bumped up a few notches. We’ll see what happens with that…
And I still don’t know what my area of impact is.